Californication, David Duchovny’s series, never held back when it came to its subject matter, delving deep into the hideous beast that is Hollywood and the metropolis of Los Angeles, but in doing so, it became one of the funniest shows to ever grace television.
Despite the show’s obscenity, indecency, and utter rawness, audience members found it highly amusing and relatable. In this article, we will be discussing some of the best quotes of Californication.
You’d be hard-pressed to find an episode of the seven-season sitcom that didn’t have at least one laugh-out-loud line, whether it was Hank’s witticism or self-loathing, Runkle’s complete lack of shame, or any number of the ancillary characters letting the two know how foolish they truly were. We have put together a list of the 20 best quotes of Californication. Read on to find out more.
Take a look at our list of 20 best quotes of Californication:
- “Freedom’s just another word for missing someone.”
- “Wine is fine. But whisky is quicker.”
- “Well, You Should’ve Called. I Wouldn’t Have Answered, But You Could’ve Left A Message, Which I Would Have Quickly Erased.”
- “I Am Currently Accepting Blame For Everything: Volcanoes, Earthquakes, Oil Spills, Steroids, Rap Music… It’s All My Fault.”
- “Fuck the younger generation. I just like you.”
- “Believe it or not, I have this recurring dream about church and a nun.”
- “There’s No Crying In Tent-Pole Film-Making, You Fucking Mary!”
- “Once upon a time, I wrote a book. People seemed to dig it, so I wrote another and one after that. That’s when Hollywood came knocking at my back door. As soon as I cashed that check, I wrapped my lips around the mighty erection that is the film industry and sucked hard, just like a good whore should. Unfortunately, I had to be taught not to orphan the balls.”
- “You’re right. You should probably do your best not to fall in love with me.”
- “Cities don’t change people. People don’t even change people. We are who we are.”
- “Smell you later.”
- “To Our Beautiful Family, Our Black President, And My Magnificent Dong.”
- “Being A Fucking Feminist Is Not About Castrating Men, You Kooky Cunt!”
- “I don’t think that’s it. I think everybody’s got that special someone that gets under their skin and doesn’t go away. I think maybe you have that particular fungal property for him.”
- “I can write anywhere… Or not, as the case may be, which is not the case.”
- “No Man Should Ever Have To Bare Witness To His Own Face.”
- “Whatever You Need: I Got Alcohol, I Got Pornography, I Got Pictionary.”
- “My Homeless Dick Now Must Seek Shelter From The Storm Where And Whence It Can.”
- “Don’t worry, your prayers have been answered. I’m leaving.”
- “I can’t teach you how to write, and anybody who says they can is full of shit. The only thing I can do is write about the shit that excites me; the shit that gets me hard… Don’t be niggardly with your emotions. Just run it up the flagpole and see who salutes.”
Some of the best quotes of Californication are mentioned above. We hope you enjoyed this article. Please leave your feedback in the comment section below. Also, let us know about your favorite character of Californication.
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